Haile Selassie I… smoke and share….

Don’t choke de women wit yer hair…

(blumpa billie dee… Ohhhahhhhwoooooohhhhhheeeee-eye)

You can read the full article here Portland, Oregon Man Chokes Girlfriend with Dreadlocks during an Argument

Sure he likes alternative energy, Mumford and Sons, and Sour Diesel- But his hair murders people

Marijuana Ninja thoughts:

You have a right to a barber, if you can’t afford a barber one will be appointed to you…

Notice how it always some dude named Caleb or Sawyer or Forest who is all Cat Stevens around the fire one minute, rolling one handed Js while playing a twelve string guitar to a semi-circle of a half dozen mindless gorgeous frocked hippie chicks and the next minute all Rage Against the Machine over how Whole Foods is destroying sustainable micro economies of gluten range free non-organic co-op farmer’s markets…. scary shit.

Apparently this guy has surfed his last couch for the next 4 to 5 months.

His beard was charged as an accessory to the assault and battery.

The actual transcript of the argument:
CALEB: “Dude, we need to decide… Further at Red Rocks or Blue Lotus at Doug Fir Lounge tickets”
VICTIM:“Don’t you think you should be looking for a job, or at least food and shelter. That farmer’s market hummus is giving me the shits wicked and my couch smells like you. Not a good thing.”
CALEB: “Jah will provide BITCH! It’s only a ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME FREAKING EPIC SHOW you… can’t… stop ME!…. “
VICTIM: sounds of struggle (Grrrrrrr….ahhhhhggggggg… (choke)… gasp… eeerp… gahhhh…. eeep)
CALEB: “Shit…. dude, call 911″

The perpetrator tried to evade officers on foot since his bike had a flat tire.

When apprehended officer’s confiscated 8 ounces of marijuana, two sheets of LSD, and 27 grams of psychedelic mushrooms- no drug related charges where filed since the quantities where under the punishable limits enacted by Oregon State Law.

The judge didn’t want to house the dread-lock choker in the general prison population, citing safety concerns. He was quoted as saying “There are some people who can go to prison and get reformed. But I am not one to advocate cruel an unusual punishment by having other prisoners at risk of scabies, lice or being choked by his deadly choice of coif.”

The perpetrator confessed to arresting officers he used his hair to choke his girlfriend because he didn’t want to get his hands dirty.

The victim''s identity withheld (File Photo)

By fill in the blank I could use terrifying, hysterical, inspiring, beautiful, impactful, motivating, life changing, patronizing, scarring, captivating, convincing.

Earthlings was a recent documentary that went viral examining our relationship with animals as fellow travelers on planet earth. The film produced by Nation Earth (a California based “environmentally conscious organization”) is narrated by Joaquin Phoenix and the score by Moby. To say the film is life altering would be an understatement. Earthlings made me question the value of my humanity. It was humbling, horrifying and revealing of the evil of the human condition.

It pairs the slaughterhouse to that of a concentration camp convincingly so. This film is not high-def (thank god) the audio dated and the footage mostly stock. However the revelation your soul will experience with the truth of the evils of corporate food suppliers you will be trading in your Harley for a Roto-tiller.

WARNING- YOU CAN NOT UNWATCH THIS. NOT FOR CHILDREN

Click below to watch the trailer and click on the link to see the full movie free on their website.

See Full Version of Earthlings

Make the Connection. EARTHLINGS.com

I like my dentist. He is a friendly middle aged Yankees fan who has a bustling practice in North Portland. Dr. Dentist hires personable, professional staff who are quick with a laugh and pleasantly attractive. Going to the dentist in my adulthood hasn’t proven to be the nightmare it was during my childhood. Before I turned 18 years old I had 8 fillings, 5 adult teeth extracted, four years of orthodontics and one gum graft surgery. I have been gassed, Novacained and x-rayed to the point where I believe it has caused some damage that will be symptomatic when I approach 60. To be sure that my childhood experiences where not to be repeated, I have waterpicked, flossed, brushed and bleached my teeth to be cavity free for nearly twenty years.My teeth gleam in my diligence to avoid the needle. The needle in my gum needle. I hate needles. My dental appointment at 7am was to replace those childhood fillings that were now starting to be want of repair. I smoked a joint on the way in.

7am Monday morning dental appointments I often have a tendency to be late for. This morning I awoke at 6 am in panic shock, having realized that I needed to make a 45min trek to the dentist, for an appointment I had forgotten. I quickly brushed my teeth cursing at myself for most likely being late yet again. On the road I was sandbagged by construction traffic and startled by the text at 6:15 am from the dental office as a reminder of my appointment. Texting appointment reminders is brilliant especially for marijuana ninjas.

I made it to the Dental office 20 minutes early, how I don’t know, but that is the way of the ninja.

Lately, there has been a lot of “two steps forward, three steps back” with medical marijuana laws (for those cliche’ lovers out there wheee hoo) so I have been doing on the spot random surveys of to find those who don’t smoke marijuana or are marijuana averse (which tends to be a rarity in these parts). When I asked Dr. Dentist about his take on recent federal crackdowns violating state laws on medical marijuana dispensaries I was surprised by his reply:

“I think it should be illegal. They don’t need to add to the list. When does it stop?”

“But, alcohol is legal and that wasn’t always the case…” I gurgled

“Look I had a teacher reefer (you catch that) a bunch of other teachers to my practice I had up north. It was great to have all of their business and I scraped enough hash off the back of their teeth to keep you stoned for a year. I used to smoke it in college but I still think it should be illegal. It isn’t good for you.”

Boom- out came the needle. I averted my glazed eye to avoid watching it plunge into my gum. I was pretty fucking high about now, more so in a twitchy paranoia state, feeling as though my friendly Dr. Dentist had now turned on my pot smoking “criminal” ass. That is probably the most important reason to my why we should legalize marijuana…. to make otherwise law abiding marijuana ninjas no longer ninjas. Stoned or not the needle hurt, feeling every finger of Novocaine forced into my gum tissue by the syringe’s plunger. My jaw was engulfed in a pulsating burn and the taste of sweet chemical in my nostril. Dr. Dentist likes to wait until the Novocaine kicks in before he starts drilling my replacement fillings.

“Hash teeth or not I am sure those teachers were good teachers, no?”

“I wouldn’t want my kids going to that school. Pot is a drug. Those people are on drugs and they are teaching my kids. I don’t agree with that.”

“That is what I mean. It makes law abiding citizens, criminals for partaking in something they grow in their backyard. Weed doesn’t cause domestic violence. You don’t become a more aggressive driver…. or person… no one has said let’s get high and get in a fight.”

“You are comparing alcohol to marijuana. Alcohol is bad too. So is cigarettes.  I just don’t think we need to add to the list.”

Out came the mouth guard to keep my mouth open. The device wasn’t uncomfortable and left my face in an open gape. I thought this could make a good sex toy (note to Google that later).

As Dr. Dentist drilled and scraped and removed my fillings he went on to add to his opinion on legalized marijuana. We were not going to agree so I just sat back and enjoyed hearing a dissenting view from some one I respected. Generally going to the dentist isn’t a pleasant experience. But going to the dentist slightly stoned…. a little less inhibited… can be enlightening.

This conversation on marijuana wasn’t the first I had in Dr. Dentist’s office. 6 months ago I had a similar encounter with his very hot dental hygienist. She had pictures of Amsterdam on the ceiling that her patients could look at while she worked. She had a delicate perfume and dainty nose ring, a small gold globe the size of a pinhead, to let you know she had a little bad ass to her. That conversation went a much more interesting route than that of Dr. Dentist.

MARIJUANA NINJA TIP- When on the road, smoke an apple bowl. Pipes and papers can be considered “paraphernalia” so smoke an apple then eat it or give it to the squirrels.

MARIJUANA NINJA TIP II- When on the road bring lots of apples.

Here is the article… What are your thoughts on the DEA?

Los Angeles Times Article on Oaksterdam University Raid

Oaksterdam University Raid

Pretty amazing what the people at Invisible Children are doing to help stop the world’s most notorious criminal Joseph Kony. Although this marijuana ninja was extremely stoned when I watched the half hour documentary/infomercial on you tube (yes I included the video below) it brought tears to my eyes to hear the fear Uganadan’s have had to live with to stop this mad man. In short (for those of you who watch nothing that isn’t animated)  this dude Joseph Kony is snatching up kids and doing one of four things:

1. Turning them into sex slaves
2. Turning them into soldiers
3. Maiming and disfiguring children
4. Murdering Children

Joseph Kony is literally the World’s number one most wanted man yet we (the United States) hasn’t gotten involved since Joseph Kony poses no threat to our National security, sovereignty or financial stability. Anyways, some are saying this effort by Invisible Children is a little too over the top to that my reply is “WTF”.

Wath the video when you get a chance. I would’ve ordered the poster kit and the bracelet but they were all sold out and I’m tapped for scratch.

Hi-Ya

4 out of 4 Marijuana Ninja Stars to Invisible Children to a great job leveraging Face Book for something other than marketing bull shit!

The Entire Kony 2012 Video

Hi- Ya

Smoking Sour Diesel Marijuana is by far my favorite choice of bud. I am writing this review having just finished smoking four bowls of the sticky, citrus scented mind miracle that is locally grown legally here in the great state of Maine. The picture above was taken with a 4MP camera on my cell and the thc crystals bathing this bud with a glitter of glee is now making my thoughts frolic with delight.

I have a certain affinity for Sour Diesel having first smoked it nearly 6 years ago on a visit to San Francisco. The grower actually lived just outside Oakland and had had an abundance of Sour Diesel that he had just harvested the week prior to my arrival and was in the curing stage of drying marijuana. This is the most important and most vulnerable state of marijuana to be in. The grower had two strains of marijuana, Sour Diesel and AK47. He had already lost 3ozs of bud to mold when he was unable to air out his bud over the weekend prior to my arrival. I helped him develop a schedule on properly drying the remaining marijuana during the curing process to help him from losing anymore bud to mold. He gave me a large satchel of Sour Diesel and I was able to smoke to my hearts content the entire trip for free thanks to his generosity.

Sour Diesel can be obtained in many dispensaries. It is a popular plant that is cloned by card holding medical marijuana recipients and other indoor growers.

Hi-Ya!

Sour Diesel- Taste Ahhhhmazing like Lemony Spritzer of Smiles

Price Per Slice: $45- $60 (3.5 grams)
Buzz/High: Buzzy, cerebral and body high. There have been times I have had slight hallucinations on this potent bud. It is a bud that is so smooth that it invites the smoker to smoke bowl after bowl… yet its potent high makes Sour Diesel one true bud you can’t walk away from simply because you are just too fucked up.

Flavor: Perfect… lemon scented, light, ginger finish, clean.

Harshness: Will make you cough but very mild

Bowl or Roll: Anyway you like it however it smokes better in a bowl. You don’t want to waste this!!!

8 out of 4 Stars. It’s that good.

Shit Stoners Say- “You Lexi man I can’t find my Iguana!”

Shit Stoner Girls Say- “This thing’s still going.”

Shit Girls Say- http://youtu.be/u-yLGIH7W9Y

 
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Common Alias: Commercial, Mersh, Brick Weed, Mexican Weed, Jamaican, Cheap weed, Schwag, Dirt weed, Cheap Shit, “That’s all you got- F’real?” Weed

Price Per Slice: $20- $30

Buzz/High: Decent bake, gave me Chinese eyes and I am not Chinese. I am a Ninja.

Flavor: Burning dragon dung

Harshness: Like a Kimatso Ninja vanishing smoke grenade , scorch throat and stab lungs

Bowl or Roll: Both (Just be sure to pick out the sticks, stems and seeds)

One Marijuana Ninja Star Rated- Good bake for the money